I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
