I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
