i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
