why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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