I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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