the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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