I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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