Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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