oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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