I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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