sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
