are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Less talking, more tequila
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
