You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
