I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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