I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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