Whod you bang
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
