hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
