pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
