he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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