My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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