We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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