and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
