thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
