she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize