I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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