some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
