I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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