It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
