so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize