i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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