come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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