grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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