She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
