I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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