she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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