That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
