Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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