i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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