If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
