I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
