I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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