she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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