I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize