He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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