You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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