hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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