Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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