As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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