dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize