Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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