His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize