It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
