upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
