I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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