did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
