Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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