yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
